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I just finished writing a blog about how spring-filled mattresses MAY be attracting wavelengths of electromagnetic radiation resulting in higher-than-normal rates of skin cancer Melanoma! The proof source is a natural health newsletter.
Do the springs in your mattress cause cancer?
Do they act as antenna enhancer?
You need no diploma
To get Melanoma…
And our Lofa may just be the answer!
Lately I've been receiving testimonials in the form of a poem. Some are limericks, some not, but all are appreciated because I know how much time and effort it takes to pen a good poem. Thank you, people, thank you.
I love it when customers write me in rhyme.
I promise to publish them from time to time.
While some are too nerdy,
And others just wordy…
Some are SO good, I wish they were mine!
I've developed a lot of confidence in the LofaBed over the years... so when anyone asks me a question, I usually have a common-sense answer for them. And I love it when I'm able to turn nervousness into positive enthusiasm.
Whenever someone writes to say,
"I have a question for you today,"
I get quite excited...
'Cause I know how delighted
They'll be when their fears I allay.
We usually make and ship an order within a week. But then it's in the hands of the trucking gods, and I can't do much other than pass along the ETA I've been given. But there are always those who would like me to intervene.
I wish I could make it come faster.
At forecasting things I'm a master.
You'll get it next week,
Till then please don't freak...
'Cause to push it would be a disaster.
A potential customer wrote that I never answered her email of two weeks ago. I responded that I had, but perhaps it landed in her "Junk" mailbox instead of her "Inbox." She looked, and that's exactly where she found it. Why? Who knows?
Sometimes my letters wind up in "Junk Mail."
"Inbox," in theory, is where they prevail.
So I tried to advise
My SEO guys...
Who tell me it's common with business email.
It happens all the time. People are reluctant to buy a LofaBed online because they can't first try one in person. But once they receive it and realize it really IS what the website says it is.....they wish they had ordered more!
We just got your bed through the door...
Which we wouldn't if bought from a store.
Now that we have it,
I'll have to admit...
We should have bought one or two more!
There's nothing like a nap in the middle of the afternoon. And several of our arms have been designed specifically just for that: the Galaxy, Tommy, Piping/Mag, and Savannah. They're all low and padded...perfect for napping.
I love a good nap after lunch...
Or supper or dinner or brunch.
Because LofaBed arms
Have comfortable charms...
Which you really should try once you munch.
Build-Your-Own-LofaBed is a project I've been working on for a year-and-a-half, and this week it was added to the website. Unfortunately, because of the cost, I had to leave out some sizes and fabrics. We'll add them later.
When we first introduced Build-Your-Own,
Some LofaBeds could not be shown.
With fabric surprises
And only two sizes...
The rest we'll just have to postpone.
Yesterday I received a customer's check in an envelope with a large "bite" taken out of the lower right corner! Luckily, nothing inside was damaged, but I had to wonder about what's going on at the post office these days.
I got a check in the mail with a bite.
Was someone eating my funds out of spite?
The post office said,
"If made out of bread...
It would go very well with a Sprite!"
A friend told me today that "LofaBed" had made it into Wikipedia under "couch." I had no idea...but I am very pleased. For a small Canadian company doing business over the internet, this is BIG NEWS! Next up...Dancing With The Stars!
We made it into Wikipedia...
An internet encyclopedia.
At first I was in shock...
But then I saw the clock...
And quickly called the media.
My son, Marcus (the boy in the video), is a junior cadet at Canada's Royal Military College. He came home with a friend this week, and spent the entire three days sleeping, eating, and playing video games!
My son came home from school this week...
Slept until noon to keep his physique.
Then played games until three...
Ate our food which was free...
Reminding me of when I was a Greek!
Most people are very polite when they write me, but every once in a while I get some guy with an attitude, who feels he needs to get something off his chest. And he's not at all encumbered by the normal rules of personal etiquette.
A man sent an email to me today,
With nothing but unpleasant things to say.
He hated my site,
But wanted to write...
And place an order anyway!!!
We recently shipped a LofaBed to a customer who claimed the factory forgot to include the "hinge protectors" as part of Packaging Plus. However, they WERE there...she was just looking in the wrong place.
Our Assembly Instructions have failed,
To identify wood which was nailed….
To the frame of the base,
Keeping hinges in place…
As a follow-up email unveiled.
Sometimes these lines just flash across my brain. They don't always make any sense, but they do rhyme and "flow" like crazy. My idea of a good limerick is one that reads like a song. Making sense would be a bonus.
I know you don't know if I know,
That you know what I know is so.
So we'll leave it for now,
'Cause there's no telling how...
You'll ever know I know it's "no."
Kathleen Rothwell, who lives in Ottawa, claims that it took her less time to decide on buying a new house and a new car (Saturn Sky?) than to put together an order for a LofaBed. Please check out my blog to see why.
This morning Kathleen wrote and said,
“I’m preparing my order with dread.
‘Cause it’s simpler to buy
A house or a Sky…..
Than to order a LofaBed!”
This was the day that initiated the whole limerick-writing thing. The kids would run around following my limerick clues, and eventually find the chocolate close to where they started. Nowadays...not so much!
It's Easter Sunday again this year.....
Why do I care that my kids are not here?
Perhaps it's because
I miss the applause...
'Long with laughter, love, and family cheer.
The maintenance of upholstery material is something I've never really been comfortable with. Probably because I don't know much about it, and because it's difficult getting relevant information even from the fabric reps! But I'm gonna learn.
When discussing fabric cleaning codes,
It doesn't take a scholar Rhodes...
'Cause "W", "S", "X"
Provides you with the specs...
To protect all fabric which corrodes.
At first the factory did not want to change to a higher grade of foam. Their point was that nobody was complaining. My point was that we could do better, and since I was willing to pay more, why not? It still took longer than it should have.
Developing "Premium" foam...
Met resistance like Georg Simon Ohm.
We made it much stronger,
As well as last longer...
But it took many days, as did Rome.
This was the idea of Julien Simon, my SEO advisor at Virtually Canadian. He thinks that by featuring one customer's LofaBed weekly in my blog, it'll help others understand the possibilities of combining sizes, arms, and fabrics.
The LofaBed of the Week...
Is "newer than new" so to speak.
We'll shoot a new order
With a camera recorder...
Then feature it like a boutique.
I'm old enough to remember the struggle for Civil Rights in the sixties. And to see how some black congressmen were treated by the crowd in D.C. recently brought back some bad memories. I thought we were supposed to be post-racial!
Now that Obama has had his way,
Let's hope the country gets past the fray.
'Cause spitting and cursing...
Will wind up reversing...
Civil Rights in the U.S. of A.
More and more frequently I'm getting asked if a LofaBed is comfortable enough to sleep on every night. And also more frequently than ever before, I'm getting asked this in a foreign language!
"Can I sleep on your bed every night...
Or should I look for another website?"
They ask me this query
In French or Kashmiri...
And languages I cannot write.
I've just finished adding "The Condo Column" to my website and I thought I'd introduce it with a limerick. Condo living and LofaBeds were made for each other, so I'll be putting much more emphasis on this subject in the future.
A studio condo is small.
But unlike a Toyota recall...
You can't take it back
When you find a small crack
On the ceiling, the floor, or the wall!
People ask me all the time for replacement mattresses for an existing sofa-bed. What they really need is a whole new sofabed, because a new mattress is not going to eliminate the bar-in-your-back nor make it any lighter to carry.
A sofa-bed mattress is thin...
With the bar-in-your-back you can't win.
A fine they should levy
Because it's so heavy...
And the comfort they speak of is "spin!"
The "qouble," which rhymes with "double," features an 80" long mattress which is only 54" wide. That's because 54" is the perfect width for sitting comfortably when folded in half. And 80" is a good length for tall folk who like to stretch out.
The length of a queen & the width of a double,
Describes a LofaBed we call the “qouble.”
It’s perfect for those,
Who don’t want their toes…..
To hang off the end & cause someone trouble.
I get a lot of inquiries about cats and cleanable fabrics. Usually I recommend Monet, because that's the only material I actually have experience with. The California Collection is perfect for people who need to clean their fabric frequently.
The California Collection
Was designed with much reflection.
Removable covers
Your cat soon discovers...
Are worthy of keen circumspection.
I think of my website as a kind of virtual store...where you can drop in and browse, be entertained, and learn a little about the fabulous LofaBed. That's why I include limericks, funny videos, and...soon-to-come: music.
Whenever someone lands on my site,
I want them to know that they have the right...
To stay for a while,
And leave with a smile...
Then ask for some swatches be mailed tonight.
Most of the time people ask my advice on which fabric I'd recommend for a particular use. I usually suggest Monet, because I'm familiar with it (I have it at home), and I've always liked the feel of a suede microfiber, which Monet is.
I often get asked on the phone,
"Which one of your fabrics are known...
To be scratch-proof from cats,
Little boys and their bats...
Yet be soft on my skin when I'm prone?"
It happens all the time. People write and ask for fabric swatches, and then forget to tell me where to mail them! It's embarrassing for both of us...and I always feel somewhat guilty when reminding them of the obvious.
I'm always pleased when people write,
And ask for swatches real polite.
But without an address,
I have to confess...
I go from delight to contrite.
When Susan O'Brien wrote that I should start targeting condo living because the LofaBed is such a perfect fit, I penned a few limericks on the subject. This was the first.
People who live in small places,
Need furniture for their wee spaces.
From tables to stools,
Special hooks for their tools…..
And books stored in vertical cases.
Certainly a reasonable request. One I'm quite used to hearing. But the reality is that outside of Valleyfield, Québec, there are no dealers because the small, French-Canadian factory I deal with doesn't offer terms of credit. No credit = no dealers.
"There must be a dealer nearby,
Where at least I could go there and try...
To lie down and sit,
Open and close it...
Then get back to you when I buy."
We make three sizes that require an ottoman to turn them into 75" or 80" mattresses. Because they're all of standard dimensions, a fitted sheet will fit nice and tight, and keep the ottoman from moving.
"What keeps the ottoman close to the seat?
Is there a latch to make them complete?"
I answer directly,
And also correctly...
"All it takes is a form-fitted sheet!"
Although I've shipped LofaBeds to Australia, Alaska, and Hawaii...overseas freight is prohibitively expensive for individual units. For the time being, I'm satisfied with selling Canada and the U.S. But once I find a distributor, worldwide sales won't be far behind.
I often get asked on the phone...
"Do you ship as far as Cologne?"
I answer, "Not really...
But one day, ideally...
We'll go to Sierra Leone!"
The most commonly asked question I get is, "Where can I see one in person?" So I made up the name "McPherson," and got grammatically-creative with "worsen." I mean, YOU try rhyming "person."
"I'd like to see in person,"
Wrote Natalie McPherson,
"A LofaBed nearby...
Where I can go and try
To learn, it's better or it's worsen!?!"
For a $30 upcharge, customers can have the back of the mattress made out of the same material as the front and sides. This becomes important when the LofaBed is placed in the middle of a room.
The back of the mat is Rodon,
A non-slip upholstery add-on.
If not to your liking,
The price we'll be hiking.....
And find something else to put on.
This was based on an unusual pre-Christmas situation where the customer's LofaBed was actually delivered before I got paid. The customer made good via PayPal, but the check she had mailed never did arrive!
She told me the check was in the mail,
Weighed it herself on the postal scale.
I believe what she said,
Though I'm still out the bread...
'Cause this time of year, the mail's a snail!
I'm happy to mail out up to six fabric swatches, but at least HALF THE TIME, people forget to give me their mailing addresses.
I must admit, I must profess,
A certain level of distress...
When folks ask me to mail
Swatches sans a detail.....
Like postal code and home address!
Kobi, the Pug, was my daughter's dog. Then she left for college. Sometimes when I take her out at night, she looks up at me with those bulging eyes as if to say, "Why are we here?"
I have a Pug who will not pee.
I walk her two blocks...sometimes three.
But it doesn't matter,
'Cause her little bladder
Is determined to find the right tree!
My younger brother is an ER doctor in San Francisco. He has a thick head of natural blonde hair...which I would kill for. I, on the other hand, have always been follicularly-challenged.
I have a brother with lots of hair.
He has so much, I wish he would share.
And I'm sure he would,
If only he could.....
But unlike tires, he's got no spare!
My wife is the day care coordinator at the local elementary school, and last year her principal asked me to write something she could read over the loudspeaker at the beginning of the school year.
Please remember that when you're in school,
We ask that you practice the Golden Rule.
So do unto others...
What teachers and mothers...
Would like you to do to be cool.
Many people like the idea of mixing and matching, but have a hard time deciding what goes well with what. Mailing out fabric swatches helps to make that decision easier.
I often get asked on the phone...
"Can I order in more than one tone?"
To which I reply,
"Of course, but don't try...
To mix Café Multi with Bone!"
Xerox used to call this a "hard objection"...something you could only address by minimizing. And I agree; it would be nice if I had stores to showcase the LofaBed. But the factory does not offer credit, and dealers won't buy without it...ergo, no dealers.
Some people are nervous to buy
New furniture they cannot try.
From sofa to table,
These folks are unable
To order what might go awry.
Actually, a LofaBed IS both lighter and cheaper than a traditional pull-out sofa-bed...I just couldn't think of better words to use. In retrospect, I believe I became enthralled with rhyming "Grim Reaper."
A LofaBed sofabed sleeper,
Is not smaller, lighter, or cheaper.
But its acquisition
By one's own volition,
Will slow or delay the Grim Reaper!
Please, someone help me. I LOVE this limerick, but I hate the fact I had to make up the name "Leep." If anyone can think of a place that rhymes with "sleep," tell me and I'll change the line.
There was an old fellow from Leep,
Who suffered severe lack of sleep.
When offered a drug
Or liquor to chug.....
He did BOTH, and was soon counting sheep!
"Poly-ethereal" is one of those made-up terms that sounds good, but makes no sense, really. I just liked the way it rhymed with "material," and helped to make the limerick flow. One of my favorites.
All of the fabric material,
Cotton to poly-ethereal,
Is upholstery in grade,
Will not tear, pill, or fade...
And is known to be anti-bacterial!
This little ditty is really "bang on" in that it describes one of the most important benefits of all LofaBeds: they knock-down for easy carrying. Because of this, you can install a LofaBed where other sofa-beds can only DREAM of going!
There was an old Croat from Split,
With doorways too small to admit...
Either sofa or chair
Whether rounded or square,
But his LofaBed knocked-down to fit!
Davenport hinges work very well and last a long time IF the basic instructions are followed: lift from the center of the unit, not from the side. If you lift from the side, too much pressure is applied to the opposite hinge, and eventually it'll bend or break.
A LofaBed hinge is quite strong.
Treat it kindly, and it'll work long.
But lift from the SIDE,
Will force US to provide,
A replacement, and that would be wrong!
Actually, there are 75 fabrics to choose from, but that would have meant changing the "flow" of the limerick. And, anyway, who's counting?
With seventy fabrics to choose from,
Like cinnamon, chocolate and plum...
We've made this collection
With so much affection,
It's hard to choose one from the sum!
The most commonly heard complaint re hide-a-beds is that you can feel a bar-in-your-back when trying to sleep. What you DON'T hear is that they're all limited to 72" in length...even their queens! Since a queen is supposed to be 80" long, that's a BIG difference.
A Hide-a-Bed sofabed bed,
Is frequently thought of with dread.
From the bar in your back,
To the inches they lack,
Try a LofaBed mattress instead.
I love this limerick. It's silly, I know, but it's so much fun to read. One of these days I'm gonna write a blog based on this...as soon as I find some pictures of a pink armadillo and a deciduous willow.
A blanket, two sheets and a pillow
Plus an undersized pink armadillo,
Will all fit in your base
With some leftover space
For a tiny, deciduous willow.
Having fitted sheets, as opposed to flat ones, fit our mattresses is a major selling point. And because all LofaBed mattresses are 8" thick, the sheets fit nice and tight.
There was an old gal from St. Pete's,
Who loved to use clean, fitted sheets.
But her son was a baller,
And because he was taller,
He ruined her sheets with his cleats!
"LB" is my abbreviation for LofaBed when two syllables work better than three. And, of course, I'm open to an alternative location for "Znot."
There was this young lady from Znot,
Who slept in her LB a lot.
"I was cold in my dreams,
But slept soundly it seems,
And dreamt I would wake and be 'hot'!"
What can I say?...Dwight's an American patriot. Word has it he even SALUTES his red, white and blue LofaBed before sitting down!
There was a young fellow named Dwight,
Whose LB was blue, red, and white.
Though it looked like the flag,
Friends said he would brag,
It made his apartment look bright!
One of the drawbacks in the design of the "qouble," is the unavailability of 54"x80" fitted sheets. But they ARE available online, and there's a blog about this subject elsewhere on the website.
A Kiri Plum LofaBed "qouble,"
Is bigger by far than a double.
But if flat sheets will fit,
Then one has to admit,
That making the bed is no trouble.
I hate to use controversial words in my limericks, but "damn" is pretty mild, it IS in the dictionary, and it just sounded right. Sorry if I offended anyone.
I once knew a guy without guile,
Whose LofaBed caused him to smile.
He could sit, sleep, or rap...
Take a snooze or a nap,
Said he, "It's so damned versatile!"
It's not often you get to use "quid pro quo" in a rhyme. But in this case it makes sense, and it just sounds so damn cool. And, in fact, we DO offer an option of covering the back of the mattress in the same fabric as the front and sides.
Some people write and want to know,
"Does the back of the mattress show?"
I ask if they're willing,
To increase the billing,
And choose a new "look" quid pro quo?
By changing the arm style, you can really affect the overall "look" of a LofaBed. Not only do we offer 2", 5", 8", 9", and 10" sizes...but our styles range from traditional to practical to modern. And most of them are the perfect height for napping.
A LofaBed sofa-bed bed,
Is hand-made with needle and thread.
And our arms in eight sizes,
From low to hi-rises...
Were fashioned to comfort your head.
This was a difficult concept to put into a limerick. I wanted to explain that some of our models sleep parallel to a wall, while others sleep perpendicular. And when the factory can place the arms INSIDE the storage compartment, that LofaBed is shipped in one, rather than two, packages.
You sleep with your head toward the wall,
In a loveseat, twin, chair.....queen-all.
But the other two sizes,
Have NO such surprises.......
Plus they're only one piece to install.
This is my way of saying that sometimes a "queen" isn't really a queen. In fact, in the case of traditional pull-out sofa-beds, none of them are even 75" long, much less the 80" a queen requires. They give up 8" of legroom just so they can fold back under the cushions!
"I want a queen because I'm tall,"
Said the guy with the basketball.
"But a queen Hide-a-Bed,
Has no room for my head......
It's 8 inches too short; and that's small!"
This was a personal challenge to see if I could rhyme the word "Seattle." I could have gone with "that'll," but I liked the word "chattel" better. The idea came to me because of some messy divorces in our neighborhood.
There was this poor girl from Seattle,
Involved in a custody battle.
Said she, "Keep your stuff,
but enough is enough...
The cats are my personal chattel!"
This was one of my first limericks. I was fooling around with rhymes and musical flows, and these words just popped into my head. It doesn't make much sense, I know, but it does sound nice when you read it fast.
Big Dan is an Iowa farmer.
Has a cow, but never would harm her.
"I know that her leather
tans black, brown, or heather,
And I like that she wears it as armor."
There are precious few words that rhyme with "storage," and I was desperate to talk about all the space LofaBeds offer in the base and ottoman for sheets, blankets, and pillows. I figure the food she stored in her LofaBed was non-perishable.
There was a young girl from McMorridge,
Who managed with food she could forage.
But her fridge was so packed,
She was heard to react,
"My LofaBed has lots of storage!"
I frequently get asked about how to clean a particular fabric, or if it'll hold up to the clawing, scratching, jumping, and climbing of a houseful of kids and pets. My typical retort comes from that standard vaudeville medical-advice line: "Don't do that!"
A LofaBed mattress is plush.
You clean it with vacuum or brush.
Whether double or queen,
It's NO trampoline.....
'Cause jumping will turn it to mush!
It's a reasonable question: "Why do you charge extra for Packaging Plus?" The answer is that there are a number of local customers who pick up at the factory and don't need extra packaging. But when shipped out of province, you do.
Sometimes customers want to discuss,
Why they have to have Packaging Plus.
We add it, of course...
'Cause buyers' remorse,
Is not worth all the hassle and fuss.
When I was ten, Frankie Laine sang "Do Not Forsake Me O My Darlin'," the ballad of High Noon. I never forgot the line, "He made a vow while in State's Prison. Vow'd it would be my life or his'n." This limerick is my paean to that song and that particular line.
Billy Ray Jimmy Dean Frisson
Brewed hootch doing time in state prison.
When guards found the "still,"
Ray blamed it on Bill...
Said he, "Bill's my friend and it's his'n!"
Leona Gaita is an interior designer in the NYC area, who wrote and asked why I had no "modern square arm." She sent me some photos of what she wanted, and I promised to make one soon and name it after her. We're still working on it.
A woman called me and inquired,
Into an arm that she required.
She wanted "square,"
With little flair.....
I guess that "modern" is admired.
These three limericks (all in red) represent my response to the question, "Where can I see a LofaBed in the Greater Toronto Area?"
Is there a store in the GTA...
To see a LofaBed on display?
Where I could rest my head
Upon your sofa-bed,
And snooze the afternoon away?
This is a delicate subject, but I'm really worried about my friend's health. It's politically incorrect (P.I.) to call someone "fat" these days, but my concern is that he doesn't die young. If calling him "fat" gets his attention and causes him to take action, I'll do it.
I have a friend who's really quite fat.
I know it's "P.I." just to say that.
But sometimes I worry,
That he's in a hurry.....
To get to his last turn at bat.
Royal Mattress was a chain of family-owned, factory-direct bedding stores owned by one of my best friends. Unfortunately for him, they were mostly located near southern Ontario's automotive manufacturing sector, and you know what happened to that.
Funny you should ask to see a store
That used to be, but is no more.
Royal Mattress* WAS the place
Which gave my bed the space
For you to sleep...perhaps to snore.
Because LofaBed loveseats and queens open perpendicular to a wall, extremely tall people can sleep overhanging the mattress. And, because the arms are on either side of them, there's no fear of rolling off.
Our loveseats and queens face the wall,
For customers who are too tall...
To sleep on a double
Without any trouble,
And worry that someday they'll fall.
When Royal closed, I lost my only "showroom" in the GTA. My friend had graciously floored a double size LofaBed in return for my sending him customers who needed more bedding than just a sleeper-sofa.
But when the economy tanked,
And deposits no longer were banked,
The big and the tiny
Wound up on their hiney,
And credit got "Royally" yanked!
Susan O'Brien is a customer and a columnist who specializes in condo living. Recently she wrote me that I should be targeting condo dwellers because the LofaBed is so practical and perfect for their needs.
Susan O'Brien wrote to say,
"Get into condos right away!
It's a market untapped...
While nicely gift-wrapped,
For LofaBeds to lead the way."
This is my homage to Ogden Nash, who wrote my all-time favorite limerick: "A flea and a fly in a flue."
A bug and a slug in a rug,
Got thirsty for something to chug.
Said the bug, "Let us drink."
Chimed the slug, "Let me think."
Then the slug gave the bug his own jug!
"Condo" seems like a simple word to rhyme. It's not. Other than using "Hector Elizondo," I couldn't come up with anything better. But this works...it does.
Martial arts fanatic Fernando,
Bought into a very large condo.
It was airy and bright,
Ablaze with sunlight...
And perfect for doing Taekwondo.
This was in response to an inquiry re a very small, studio apartment. She needed a sofa-bed she could sleep on every night, and even her local furniture store told her that was impossible! Of course, we know better.
I have no room to put a bed,
I choose a LofaBed instead.
'Cause my apartment
Has one compartment,
To watch TV and lay my head.
Mal Pancoast was my high school Chemistry teacher, and very instrumental in my early development. When I heard he died recently (August 2010), I wrote his family this limerick. I hope they liked it.
You inspired me during my youth.
Helped me want to be more than uncouth.
Now that I'm older,
Myself a youth-molder...
I thank you for teaching the truth.
Many customers have space limitations and choose a thinner arm, like the SpaceSaver or the 5" Mini. But I feel an obligation to remind them of the "snooze factor" associated with our more padded arms, like the Galaxy or the Piping/Mag.
There are eight arm styles to choose.
Any more and we just might confuse...
All the people who care
About space they can't spare,
But still want an afternoon snooze!
Ever since the kids grew up and left our home, my wife's been watching TV and reading home decorating magazines...making all sorts of plans for the now empty rooms. For my part, I keep hoping they'll return!
My wife asked me to help remodel...
The room in which our kids would waddle.
But to tell you the truth,
I'd sooner pull a tooth...
And get back to writing my twaddle.
My wife and I are in the process of decorating an empty room, and I've been amazed at the prices of area rugs. Most 9'x12' rugs sell for over $1,000, more than a LofaBed, and all you get in return ...is FLOOR COVERING!
Compare a rug to a LofaBed...
Which you might do once you've been wed.
They cost almost the same,
Which makes it quite a shame...
The rug just lies there looking dead.
I really have nothing against West Virginia, except that I attended a wedding there once, and was struck with the backwardness of some of the guests. When coal mining is your #1 industry, what do you expect?
Whenever I'm asked my opinion,
Be it sports or British dominion...
I try to be smart
With the facts I impart...
And not seem like a rube West Virginian!
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